Touching zero

Today, I was supposed to be running a relationship event for people who wanted to look at taking back their personal power in their relationships.. Which, sadly, got cancelled. But it has given me chance to think about independence…and that may have been the real cosmic reason for organising the event in the first place.

On 1st July this year I started to look at some of the things that I wanted to achieve in the second half of the year, and what actions I would need to take towards them. And yet it seemed like more than that for me – it seemed like a new beginning – a chance to let go of what had been in order to step into something new.

I took some decisions – to decide to move into my own personal power – to reveal more of ‘who I am’ so that others will have the power to step into more of who they are. So that others can live the dream – so that others can marvel at the wonder of Who They Truly Are.

I sensed that I needed to start to make every moment count – to let every moment reflect my reason for being alive.

The United States of America chose to DECLARE their independence – in the face of history, in the face of world opposition, in the face of everything that HAD been, they chose to make a new future – to create a new beginning.

And in the end, this morning I realised that this was a day to declare my independence . . .

Freedom from fear
Freedom from the need to be right
Freedom to love others
Freedom from financial insecurity
Freedom to believe
Freedom to build my own truth
Freedom to live where I want
Freedom to choose to be in love
Freedom to be myself
Freedom to be happy and joyful
Freedom to follow God wherever God takes me
Freedom to let life unfurl me across the Universe
Freedom to lead people
Freedom to live an exciting life
Freedom from my own expectations
Freedom from the expectation of others
Freedom to allow God to reveal truth to me
Freedom to pick myself up and start again
Freedom to think for myself
Freedom to hold any dream I want
Freedom to do something – or not to do it
Freedom from the need to fit in

We do get to choose, you know. Not to decide is to decide – the very act of not deciding is, in itself, a decision. We are where we are because we have chosen to be there – in our hands lies the power to change what’s true for us.

So what will you declare today? What will YOUR statement of independence be? Where will YOU choose the freedom and liberation that is yours by right as a child of God? Where will you choose to step into possibility – and write your own future?

THE GENTLE ART OF BLESSING
by Pierre Pradervand

On awakening, bless this day, for it is already full of unseen good which your blessings will call forth; for to bless is to acknowledge the unlimited good that is embedded in the very texture of the universe and awaiting each and all.

On passing people in the street, on the bus, in places of work and play, bless them. The peace of your blessing will accompany them on their way and the aura of its gentle fragrance will be a light to their path.

On meeting and talking to people, bless them in their health, their work, their joy, their relationships to God, themselves, and others. Bless them in their abundance, their finances…bless them in every conceivable way, for such blessings not only sow seeds of healing but one day will spring forth as flowers of joy in the waste places of your own life.

As you walk, bless the city in which you live, its government and teachers, its nurses and streetsweepers, its children and bankers, its priests and prostitutes. The minute anyone expresses the least aggression or unkindness to you, respond with a blessing: bless them totally, sincerely, joyfully, for such blessings are a shield which protects them from the ignorance of their misdeed, and deflects the arrow that was aimed at you..

To bless means to wish, unconditionally, total, unrestricted good for others and events from the deepest wellspring in the innermost chamber of your heart: it means to hallow, to hold in reverence, to behold with utter awe that which is always a gift from the Creator. He who is hallowed by your blessing is set aside, consecrated, holy, whole. To bless is yet to invoke divine care upon, to think or speak gratefully for, to confer happiness upon – although we ourselves are never the bestower, but simply the joyfull witnesses of Life’s abundance.

To bless all without discrimination of any sort is the ultimate form of giving, because those you bless will never know from whence came the sudden ray of sun that burst through the clouds of their skies, and you will rarely be a witness to the sunlight in their lives.

When something goes completely askew in your day, some unexpected event knocks down your plans and you too also, burst into blessing: for life is teaching you a lesson, and the very event you believe to be unwanted, you yourself called forth, so as to learn the lesson you might balk against were you not to bless it. Trials are blessings in disguise, and hosts of angels follow in their path.

To bless is to acknowledge the omnipresent, universal beauty hidden to material eyes; it is to activate that law of attraction which, from the furthest reaches of the universe, will bring into your life exactly what you need to experience and enjoy.

When you pass a prison, mentally bless its inmates in their innocence and freedom, their gentleness, pure essence and unconditional forgiveness; for one can only be prisoner of one’s self-image, and a free man can walk unshackled in the courtyard of a jail, just as citizens of countries where freedom reigns can be prisoners when fear lurks in their thoughts.

When you pass a hospital, bless its patients in their present wholeness, for even in their suffering, this wholeness awaits in them to be discovered. When your eyes behold a man in tears, or seemingly broken by life, bless him in his vitality and joy: for the material senses present but the inverted image of the ultimate splendor and perfection which only the inner eye beholds.

It is impossible to bless and to judge at the same time. So hold constantly as a deep, hallowed, intoned thought that desire to bless, for truly then shall you become a peacemaker, and one day you shall, everywhere, behold the very face of God.

And of course, above all, don’t forget to bless the utterly beautiful person YOU are!

As I was out walking today, I remembered a part of my story that occasionally gets told… and in remembering, I got back in touch with a part of me that I had forgotten….

Back in 1999 I was part of a massive programme to rebuild Unilever’s email infrastructure before the end of the year – something about not being ‘Year 2000 compliant’, and also about saving shed loads of money over the old system. Around that time, I was dating one of the consultants in the Unilever Corporate Centre, and so I had my New Year celebration all mapped out. Until we broke up just before Christmas, and I was left facing a pretty lonely New Year. I ended up in our IT offices watching the non-event that the Millenium Bug turned out to be… and, since Australia and Japan had pretty much proved we weren’t going to have a problem, left at around 10pm to go off to my hotel.

Now, hotel rooms on Millenium eve were pretty hard to come by. I had to book a room for two, at a black tie ball, just to get a room (thank goodness for expenses – think it cost around £300 for one night’s hotel). I had a really lonely evening and as I sat watching the fireworks, I decided one thing. I was going to get a life. I was going to get my own story. And I was never going to rely on anyone else for my happiness……

A few days later I joined Spice, a national adventure group. I learned to ski – and then to snowboard. I did self defence and bodyguard training. I got my karate black belt – and second dan black belt too. I rafted the Colorado River. I trekked the High Inca Trail. I learnt Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Hypnotherapy. I studied Hawai’ian Huna and Personal Coaching. I started my own business. I wrote a couple of books. I became a really great coach and leader. I fell in love again. And out of love again (damn!). I learned to dance. I got back in touch with a spiritual world that I thought I had left behind. I made some incredible, wonderful friends. Somewhere along that path, I got back in touch with the real me.

I got myself a story. I became more of who I knew I was… and I set out on an adventure. That adventure isn’t over, even if some days it feels like it. Some days it feels bloody hard to live this life… and yet these are some of the most exciting times to be alive in.

So, I plan on living this life to the full. I plan on having adventures. I plan on taking risks. I plan on having fun. And along that path, I plan on helping people and loving people – and I plan on helping other people find their story. I plan on helping them get in touch with the truth of who they truly are, the awesome, incredible, wonderful, blazing, powerful beings that each of us is… at our core.

Some of that will come from some amazing events and products that I am putting together (coming soon) – and some of it will come from just being with others. Hang on to your hats..

Shameless plug – for more details of my coaching and training programmes, check out www.heartstorm.org

I was listening to the Top Gun soundtrack the other day, and as I listened to ‘Through The Fire’ I remembered just how much I had learnt from this song.

I will take it to the wire now
Until every race is run
I’ll go straight into the fire now
Until every day is done
Voices say — break away
Live each night as if each moment
Was the only one

Through the fire
To the wire
When the night out of control
Is breaking your heart
Through the fire
To the wire
When the flames are burning hot
They take you higher
Through the fire

There’s a feeling that I can’t ignore
Like a stranger at my door
So revealing that I cannot hide
When you settle up the score
Voices say — night and day
Live your life as if each second
Was the final one

I look for signs that you are here tonight
When the passion calls the pleasure to the flame
Then I ask you of the meaning when you talk of love
Would you take the leap of faith?
Would you throw it all away?

There are times when it seems that everything is spinning completely out of control – when nothing seems to be going right. Right now it seems that’s happening to so many of my friends. Things that they used to rely on have disappeared from their lives – some have found marriages ending, careers disappearing – others have lost friends, or split up with lovers. And there doesn’t seem to be any reason for it.

I don’t know quite why it seems to be happening. But I do know that through the fire comes something new. Through the pain and the searing heat of the fire, something is created. Things that don’t really matter are burnt away, while things that do matter remain – and are stronger. Just as fire creates steel, so the pain in our lives leaves us more powerful and more resilient.

I’ve looked into the fire many times over the last 12 months or so – and yet, I know that I am bigger, better, stronger, more powerful, more resilient, more capable, more loving, more compassionate than before. Something has changed in my life – and that’s what I am seeing in the lives of my friends too.

We’re being taken to the wire. To the very edge of our being. Our souls are calling us to do something new, something exciting… and in order for that to happen, everything that is not essential is being burnt off, as we learn to live from our hearts, from the core of our beings.

And so… are you prepared to live your life as if each second was the final one? To wring so much joy and passion out of each minute, to enjoy life to the full. Not to live in the past, whether we live in the memory of past glories or we give ourselves excuses as to why we aren’t living the life of our dreams right now. Not to live in the future – either in fear of what might be, or in anticipation of what could be. But to live, in the moment, right now… enjoying what IS.

So… will you take the leap of faith? Will your risk it all to live on the edge… where the dream is real….? Will you walk with me into a truly exciting new world?

PS

COMING SOON

Well, it took me a while, and I can’t say that the path to the next steps for me has been particularly easy – or comfortable – but it’s time to get out there and make some things happen. So, yes, I have decided that t’s time . . .for this.

EVENTS

I’ll soon be announcing some new events that I’ll be running: these have got me really excited, and I’m looking forward to working with many of you and with many other people too as we create some really cool things together.

“Be The Gift – a New Spirituality for a New World” – this regular event, initially in the Birmingham area, simply seeks to bring people together to explore the world, the Universe, and our place in it.. and to look at what we can give back. This is a true inter faith group, and while we will be exploring spirituality and our relationship with God, we will be doing that without dogma, without religiosity, and with openness, love and compassion. I’m hoping to take that further afield in the near future too.

“Two Close to the Edge” is a workshop I am working on in partnership with divorce coach Jackie Walker (www.breakupangels.com). We’re going to be looking at relationships, particularly where one or both partners may be considering separation or divorce, and helping them take decisions that put them back in charge of their life.

“Marketing for Therapists” is another workshop I am putting together with my good friend Roy Martin MBE (www.thejoyforlifecompany.co.uk). Roy and I have a passion for helping people get a head start in the business of helping people – so we’re going to help a select group of therapists to make a massive difference to their practice – and to the world. I’m assisting Roy on a number of his other programmes too over the next few months.

I’m working on some other workshops, and a retreat with my good friend Kim Rossi, too – all great stuff and I’ll let you have the full skinny as soon as we’ve finalised things.

PROGRAMMES

“Heart Storm Coaching” is a programme I am creating to bring effective and yet affordable coaching to people who really want their lives to step up a gear. Through working on line and via telephone, we’re going to be able allow you to cut through the chit-chat and change your life.

IT’S REAL. AND IT’S LOVELY.

We’re gearing up for a July launch of “Really Lovely Ltd”, the web site and brand that I’ve been working on in Sutton Coldfield. It’s going to be huge….

RELAUNCHES

Meanwhile, I’m going to be relaunching my “Breakthrough to Wealth, Health and Happiness” and “Confident Power” courses. They’re going to be drawing on some of the amazing (and painful) learnings that I have had over the last 12 months – helping you to get even more success – and even more of what you want out of life. And we’re also going to be finding ways to use my books “Jump Start Your Coaching Business” and “Free Your Mind” in new ways too.

Please bear with me – I’m trying to get my shopping cart into shape, but if you want any of the products at www.heartstorm.org – please just mail me and we’ll get it sorted out. When the cart is up and running – I will let you know. But this isn’t a sales letter, anyway.

While I’ve been busy posting on my blog at www.touchingzero.com, my newsletter has been sadly neglected – so I am going to bring that up to date with a bit more bite and punch. And when that’s up and running – I’ll let you know again! And there’s going to be a great offer available too!

ONE TO ONE

And I’m still available for one to one work – drop me a line at tim@heartstorm.org and let’s talk about what you want to change… and how I can help you.

AND FINALLY

Well, this is all a huge slew of stuff to create.. and I have some incredible friends who are going to be making sure I deliver. Thankyou for your help, your encouragement, your love, and your compassion… and for delivering the necessary kick up the backside when required. You are incredible, people, and I love every single one of you.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been looking at my life, and working out what I wanted to do with it. It’s not been easy… some of the time it’s been quite dark, quite painful and I have felt the harsh winds of loneliness and failure tear into me quite keenly. I’ve looked at where I have got myself to and wondered if there was really anything for me to contribute to this world.

And yet some of my friends have had other ideas. They have never stopped believing in me, and in my gifts. They’ve never stopped believing in who I am.. and I’ve learned to listen.

You see, I found out that Life hadn’t let go of me. In fact, let’s be very honest about this from the get-go… GOD hadn’t let go of me.

And one of the ways that she lets me know that I am still being loved and still being held is through other people. People who love me enough to tell me the truth. People who remind me just who I am. People who care. Like the precious friend who reminded me “Thank you for being the warm, kind, gentle, intelligent person that you are and for being in my life. You make it a much richer place.” And that’s what led me to some decisions…. Of which more in another post.

So while I was lost in a fog of not knowing what I wanted to do… there were some other people who still believed in me. As one of them wrote “Well, no way do I see you as battered and defeated…you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. You have had some crap thrown at you but yes you are still here and here with a purpose. You inspire me and those around you.” Even when I had to drop out of the Inter Faith Seminary, one of the leaders had the grace to tell me “Your clarity, strength, courage, tenderness and praise of the group touched my heart. You are here for some pretty important work and I will always hold you in my vision as a positive beacon of light”

And someone else reminded me.. “You have one of the most beautiful spirits I have ever met and you need to share this with the world, for the world and for your self. When you speak people listen, when you go on a journey, they follow. They do this because you are there with them, what you see and feel they will also. You do this not because that’s what you are paid to do but because you feel it with every fibre of you. Never lose sight of this. You make a difference in the world in every moment that you are here. You are brave, strong, courageous, loving, and so many other things that only God and your angels know”.

So I had to think about a few things, and decide – do I still have something to bring to the world? Do I still have a gift to bring? Sounds like a ‘yes’ to me….. especially when I was introduced at a recent event as “probably the best at what he does in the world”

So it’s time to agree with one of my colleagues, who advised me that “The mighty is still the mighty” and another who simply said “this is the year – the rest were just preparing the groundwork to see who has the courage and stamina to keep going and have personal faith.”

So to my beautiful, beautiful friends… you may never know just how important your faith has been. You may never know what you have changed in my life. But I am humbled. And grateful.

Now I just want to pause for a moment and tell you straight – I’m not writing these things to tell you how great I am. I’m writing these things to tell you that even when it seems darkest… there are plenty of people who are rooting for you.

So here’s the message.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through. What’s happened to you is simply ‘What is’ as my son reminded me. Look beyond it. Look to the future. Look to what could be. Decide that you’re going to live life differently. Decide that things are going to change. Decide Who You Are. And then let that out – and change the world.

You have a gift. You have something to bring to the world. There are people around you who will remind you of that fact. Listen to them. Listen to your heart. And believe. Believe in YOU.

So get ready for some announcements – because I’m back…..

It’s been an odd week.

I had a great time dancing last weekend at Skegness. Simply amazing, and I spent the weekend with one of my most favourite people in the world… and I would dearly love for that friendship to deepen even more.

The next day, my car engine blew up. Well, more sort of ground to a halt really. My bad – I had misinterpreted the flickering lights on the dash as an electrical fault, not an oil warning.

A few days later, I had a new one, courtesy of my step father’s ‘Rent a Wreck’ business – he actually sells (and rents) older vehicles, but they are all really good. Three hours later, the car won’t start. Having been rescued yet again by the RAC, I started to muse….

One of my friends, and an excellent divorce coach (http://www.thedivorcecoach.co.uk/) wrote to me about ‘as within, so without’ – in other words, our outer life is a reflection of our inner life – and it seemed to me that God was sending me a message.

Well, one thing I learned was to pay attention to the signs. In fact, God is always speaking, it’s just up to us how we interpret those signs. If we choose to ignore them, then our world seizes up.  As Sara said in ‘Serendipity’: “I think we make our own decisions, i just think that fate sends us little signs, and it’s how we read the signs that determines whether we’re happy or not.”

I also learnt that I need to get started. To start to make some things happen. To actually begin, and not to stall.

And I learnt that no matter how dark the place I get stranded in, no matter how far away from home… there is always a way to get home, always a way to fix the problem.

I’m starting to rebuild my business, starting to produce more products.  I’m really excited about the future, although I have a feeling that I will end up knowing that . . . “Do not forget love. It will bring you all the madness you need to unfurl yourself across the universe”

I’m also mindful of the fact that “Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist, but the ability to start over.” F. Scott Fitzgerald

More to come… as I learn to listen…

Inspiration comes from some of the oddest places…this is from Meat Loaf’s Bat Out of Hell III… and currently echoing how I feel about life….

I’m still alive
Must have been a miracle
It’s been a hell of ride
Destination still unknown
It’s a fact of life:
If you make one wrong move with the gun to your head
You better walk the line or you’ll be left for dead

I’m a runaway train on a broken track
I’m a ticker on a bomb, you can’t turn back this time
That’s right
I got away with it all and I’m still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I’ll be the last man standing on the ground
And as the blood runs through my veins
I’m still alive

Lost in the night
Feeling so invisible
Oh, a dead man walking the wire
I have broke the devils net
That’s made of fire
And it’s a long way down from the top of the world
You better look around or you gonna get burned

I’m a runaway train on broken track
I’m a ticker on a bomb, you can’t turn back this time
That’s right
I got away with it all and I’m still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I’ll be the last man standing on the ground
And as the dust wheels look in my eyes
I’m still alive
I’m still alive

The darkest night ain’t black enough
To keep the morning light from shining
The highest wall ain’t tall enough
To keep the smallest man from climbing

The more that you resist the tide
The more it pulls you in
The more you hang on for your life

(I’m a runaway train on broken track)
(I’m a ticker on a bomb, you can’t turn back this time)
(that’s right)
That’s right
I got away with it all and I’m still alive

I’m a runaway train on broken track
I’m a ticker on a bomb, you can’t turn back this time
That’s right
I got away with it all and I’m still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I’ll be the last man standing on the ground
And if my shadow is all that survives
I’m still alive

For some time now, since I got divorced, I’ve spent Christmas morning on my own – until my two boys return in the evening and it all gets wild. That means I’ve time to reflect, time to meditate, time to be thoughtful. I took a long walk out this morning, down by the river near my home, and the overwhelming thoughts I had were of gratitude and excitement.

There are so many wonderful things in my life right now. Some wonderful friends, some wonderful adventures that I am on. Sure, there are some really, really hard things going on too. 2008 has not been a particularly comfortable year for me – and 2009 is going to have its share of heartache too. I suspect that it’s the same for you in many ways. And in particular the current financial crisis brings its own share of uncertainty and discomfort. And yet, something seemed to say to me this morning “All will be well”. Not just for me, but for you too. Something is happening in my life, and something is happening in your life… something magical, something wonderful. Something full of joy. Something full of purpose. If you stay open to it. If you learn to listen to your heart, and follow it – your head will catch up eventually.

I know there are many things that will change in 2009. For me as well as for you. There are new beginnings, new adventures, new friendships, maybe even new romances. And there are endings, too. Things that have been part of your life will fall away, because you’ve moved on – because something new is coming, and by letting go of the old, we allow ourselves to step into the new. Some things will change and some will disappear.

Many of you know that I am a hopeless romantic. A Christmas tradition for me has been to watch a romantic movie and to dream. This year I watched “Serendipity” again which is one of my top five movies of all time. If you haven’t watched it – well, watch it. If you have – well, watch it again. And listen.

The story is about passion – and about love. But it’s all about our part in creating that destiny – by listening to our hearts, by listening to the signs that the Universe sends us.. as the movie says “if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call ‘fatum’, what we currently refer to as ‘destiny’”

And as Sarah in the movie points out “You don’t have to understand, you just have to have faith – faith in destiny”

There is something wonderful happening for you right now.. if you stay open to it, and if you follow the little signs that you are sent – a song, a story, a chance comment. Pay attention. Listen out for the clues, the hints, the signposts. Learn to follow them. They are there.

But the key question is, as the movie says: “The Greeks only asked one question when a man died.. ‘Did he have passion?’”

So what’s your call as you look into 2009? Will you have passion? Passion for what you want? Passion for loving others? Passion for the world? Next year will be what we make it – and with passion, and with a willingness to follow our hearts….we really can change the world.